Get Bottled by Professionals
The premier service for those who've always wondered what it's like to be smacked with a bottle of Bulmers cider. (DISCLAIMER: This is a joke website. We do not actually offer this service.)
How It Works
Getting bottled has never been easier.
Book Your Bottling
Select your preferred bottling package and schedule a date and time. We're quite flexible.
Prepare Yourself
Mentally and physically prepare for your bottling experience. We recommend clearing your schedule for the next 24-48 hours.
Get Bottled
Our professional bottler will arrive at your location with the freshest Bulmers bottles and provide the bottling service you've paid for.
Pricing Plans
Choose the bottling experience that's right for you.
Basic Bottle
€49.99
Standard bottling with Original Bulmers.
- One bottle tap
- Basic waiver
- No photo evidence
Premium Bottle
€99.99
Enhanced bottling with flavor options.
- Two bottle taps
- Premium waiver
- Digital photo for social media
Deluxe Bottle
€199.99
The ultimate bottling experience.
- Three bottle taps
- Premium waiver with certificate
- Professional photoshoot
Testimonials
Hear from our satisfied customers who survived the experience.
"I always wondered what it would be like to be bottled. Now I know! 10/10 would get bottled again."
"The Pear Bulmers option was a game-changer. Slightly sticky afterward, but worth it for the story."
"Booked the Deluxe package for my birthday. The certificate really made me feel special."
Contact Us
Ready to get bottled? Get in touch.
DISCLAIMER: This is a joke website. We do not actually offer this service.
No one will actually hit you with a bottle of Bulmers or any other beverage.